January 13, 2013
Along text her other siblings, about a plan to visit Opah at our aunt's house in Tg Karang. Earlier, mom called me and she did mention about Opah's conditions...yang nampak sangat uzurnya. Mom said that Opah really wants to meet and see us.

So, that day, everyone of us went to Tg Karang except my younger sis. She got some exams or something... lagipun, dia dah visit Opah earlier with our parents.

Opah nampak uzur. Tapi at her age of 89 years old, dia sebenarnya nampak 'kuat'. Aku rasa kebanyakan org tua yang dah mencecah usia macam tu, usually dah nyanyuk kot tapi Opah tidak. Dia masih ingat akan nama-nama kami semua dan wajah kami. Sedih tengok Opah. (Damn, I finally admit it) But aku ni jenis penghibur. Aku urut kaki opah sambil2 tu aku geletek tapak kaki dia. Walaupun dia tak respon apa-apa selain mengaduh mengenangkan badannya yang sudah dimamah sakit tua tu, tapi dia takde pulak nak menengking aku ke apa. Cuma, dia minta kakinya diselimutkan dek kerana tak tahan dengan angin sejuk yang dihembus sang kipas.

Lama kami di Tg Karang. Sebelum pulang ke KL dan Putrajaya, kami semua salam dan cium Opah. Aku? Aku cuma mampu mencium pipinya. Tapi tidak di dahi.

Opah ditinggalkan oleh kami dalam keadaan uzur dan tidak berdaya. Hati aku sebenarnya terdetik, "Could it be my last time seeing opah alive?"

"I hope not."

January 21, 2013
Balik dari kerja, aku mengambil keputusan untuk singgah makan berdekatan ofis. Mom called. She told me about how Opah 'buat hal' kat rumah my aunt last few days sebab nak pulang ke kampung halaman dia di Sungkai. Mom said that she will go to Tg Karang this week after Maulidur Rasul to bring Opah to Sungkai. Mom also asked whether I will be going home this week or not.

I think, that was the only, the ONLY time that we spoke about Opah for more than 10 minutes via phone call. The only time. Dan aku sangat sabar mendengar satu per satu pasal Opah pada petang itu.

Around 9.45pm on the same day, I got a call from mom...again! It's quite strange because she won't call any of her children twice a day unless there's something urgent or need to be done quickly. I was doing my laundry that time. And I picked up the call.

There's a strange tone in mom's voice.
"...Ibu nak bagitau ni..."
I thought I knew it. The time has come.
"...Opah dah meninggal dunia..."

And that's it, I could hear mom's crying over the phone, but it's just for a while. Me? I was shocked. But I was prepared.

January 22, 2013
Again, we're in Tg Karang. This time, we're really sure that we'll stay here much longer than when we visit Opah nine days ago. Our families decided to bury Opah here, in Tg Karang.

My last pictured memory of Opah was ... Opah yang dikafankan dengan muka yang tenang. And I hate that. Not that I don't like her in the tenang state, but I hate the fact that she's gone. This time, forever. And that moment will stucked in my mind for the rest of my life. And before they covered Opah's face, members of the close-families took turns to kiss Opah for the last time. LAST TIME. This time, I kissed her cheeks and her forehead. I remember telling Opah;

"Selamat tinggal, Opah. Nanti Opah bolehlah jumpa Atok..."

And then, it's my dad's turn. That was the most saddest-sweet moment of his life, I think. Maybe for me too. Ayah laga-lagakan hidungnya dengan Opah sebelum mengucup wajah orang tuanya itu. Orang tuanya. Ibunya. Ayahnya. Orang yang membesarkannya selama ini.

Aku rasa, Opah mesti selalu main laga-laga hidung dengan ayah dulu-dulu, kan? During his childhood.


January 25, 2013
Baru hari ni aku menangis pasal Opah. Ketika menulis entry ini. Maafkan saya, Opah. Waktu kecil, saya selalu curi duit syiling Opah untuk beli jajan.

Dan ketika orang solat jenazah untuk Opah, saya hanya menuruti; tanpa mengetahui setiap ayat yang dibacakan selain takbir, al-Fatihah dan salam. Dan ketika usai solat jenazah, baru saya teringat yang saya sebenarnya tidak berwudu'.

Mungkinkah saya cucu yang tak berguna?






Lepas ni, kalau balik Sungkai... mana saya nak cari Opah?


NUke

9 Comments:

  1. zixol said...
    sabar nuke, its ok.. you can always pray for her, anytime anywhere..true its sad losing someone u love so much..kerinduan itu akan datang dan ia x mungkin akan terubat...b strong dude.
    ..nOWa.. said...
    She will always in our heart..Al-fatihah.
    Anonymous said...
    Mir, nko ckp bertuah dpt jmpe opah nko smpi umur dia 89...kira opah nko beruntung sgt sbb dpt jumpa cicit dia sekalikan?. aku rasa opah nko mesti dah puas dan sangat tenang tengok sume anak cucu cicit dia hidup okey...

    and aku kan, smpai skg klu cite pasal opah,mulalah bergenang...

    papepun,part mandi jenazah aku xthn.mgkn nko shocked sgt.smpi lpe wudu'.bab cucu xbergna, xder nyer...nko igt jer opah nko,rjinkan derma atas nama opah nko...inshaaAllah, opah nko pun syukur ada cucu mcm nko...hehe

    nnnana317
    Janggel / Rain said...
    Semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat.
    ~..Smiling Angel..~ said...
    Nuke... Al-Fatihah....i was crying..serius tersentuh part ur dad laga2 idung tu..semoga Arwah Opah Nuke tergolong di dlm kalangan hamba-Nya yg solehah..Amin~
    Anonymous said...
    Opah yang kata lampu tu ialah api. Dan dia tahu kau suka durian.
    NUke_Rude said...
    Everyone who concerns:
    Terima kasih kawan-kawan atas salam takziah, doa dan Fatihah yang disedekahkan.

    Opah tidak mati. Dia hidup dalam hati.
    Adam Haiqal said...
    salam takziah amer..banyak2kn bersabar..
    remember,mungkin jasad dia dah pergi,tapi jiwanya still ada dalam hati kita. apa yang kita boleh buat,perbanyakkan alfatihah kalau timbul rasa rindu..dan kalau boleh,tiapkali malam jumaat amek masa baca yassin. bukan hnaya untuk diri sendiri,tetapi untuk arwah..semoga rohnya di alam sana dipermudah dan diringankan. wallahua'lam.
    sabar tau mer :)
    Naen said...
    gutted at last point. T.T

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